He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
you never un-have a 4some
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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