if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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