i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
