it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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