I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My life is pants optional.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
