So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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