How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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