Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
