she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
