The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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