Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
