More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
