Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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