He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
