5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
