do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
