i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
