so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize