if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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