I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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