Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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