"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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