Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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