no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
