just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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