none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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