Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
third nipple confirmed
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
