y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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