i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
