just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
