that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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