Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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