It's like God shit irony all over that family
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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