I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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