Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
