is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize