Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
