Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
