So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
