I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
it was like eating out sand paper
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
