I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
