I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
please don't ironically join a cult
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