we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
