Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Even my vagina gasped.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
