I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
