he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
