I hope mine doesn't look like that
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize