I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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