Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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