hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize